Small ~ but GREAT ~ Step Forward!!!

This picture pretty much describes how I am feeling right now!

Although not a final step, it is a BIG STEP, nonetheless!!!

After crying several days in a row and feeling totally and utterly depleted; "wait meter" on empty; desperate for some sort of progress toward bringing our son home...........

We received word today that, although the document is not yet in the hands of AWAA, the orphanage has informed AWAA that the clearance decree is complete and on it's way to our agency!

Kristen says they should literally receive the ever-needed clearance decree ANY DAY!!!!

AWAA will then immediately provide this to MOWCYA, who had requested it six plus weeks ago, and we will be "in line" for MOWCYA to re-assess our case.........and prayerfully write us that long-awaited letter of APPROVAL!

Once MOWCYA writes an approval letter, our case will then be brought before the judge once the courts re-open.  Word is that the courts should re-open early October (depending on the rainy weather).

If you recall, the judge already approved our case and stated she just needed the approval letter from MOWCYA.  Therefore, we are praying, PRAYING, P-R-A-Y-I-N-G that once MOWCYA receives this document, they will be able to write us that letter!!!!

Although we have no real timeline, we are breathing easier just knowing that the needed document is on its way to AWAA!  The ball is F-I-N-A-L-L-Y rolling!!!!!!!

After so many weeks of no progress, this news has significantly lightened my heart and refueled my source of hope!  THANK YOU, GOD!!!  You heard my cry!  I felt as though I could not endure even one more day without some sign of forward movement..........and you provided!!!!!

Trusting that our Heavenly Father is STILL IN CONTROL and that He is holding our sweet son in his arms every moment.  May He protect this document and its delivery to our agency.  May He guide its placement in the MOWCYA office.  May it be His will to push our case through with efficiency and ease!  May He protect and provide for all of us who got caught in the closures as well as for the others in various stages of their adoption!

May our BABY "K" officially become OUR SON soon upon the courts re-openning!  

Please God, PLEASE!!!!!

Habakkuk ~ Words to Hold Onto

Trying to BELIEVE that God IS DOING SOMETHING.  That we WILL have our own day!  That He will blow our minds and bless our socks off as He finalizes this adoption.  I am trying to hold fast to this belief ~ even amidst the silence of this rainy season.  

No progress has been made.  The orphanage has not yet provided the needed clearance decree for MOWCYA.  Therefore, still no MOWCYA letter.  The rainy season makes it very challenging to accomplish tasks such as these.

The silence is deafening.  And I am growing weary.  So, I remind myself of God's infinite POWER and of His ever-loving plan to bring us together as a family.  


I remind myself (often daily or even moment-by-moment) of this verse.......

For I am doing something in your own day, 

something you wouldn't believe 

even if someone told you about it.

~ Habakkuk 1:5, NLT

JESUS LOVES THE LITTLE CHILDREN

I am seeing today what I have always known to be true.  JESUS LOVES HIS LITTLE CHILDREN!!! Our dear sweet friends from our travel group, The Kishpaughs' received a HUGE surprise phone call this morning telling them that their sweet son are now THEIRS!!!  This was total unexpected news, as they had heard on Friday that there was no MOWCYA letter written for their family.  PRAISE GOD!!!  I love their two sons, and it melts my heart to know that God moved big on their behalf!

The Mason family received their own surprise phone call on Monday, after learning that their family had also received a rejection letter for their adoption of their son!  However.......yesterday, God MOVED on their behalf and they heard the words, "HE IS YOURS!"

Our precious friends, The Boosalis and Klein families are s-t-i-l-l awaiting final news of their MOWCYA approval, and hope to hear the GOOD news TOMORROW that each of their daughters are THEIRS as well!!  

Confused?  Well, God moved the courts to stay open this week to further consider MOWCYA opinions on cases in which letters had already been written by last Friday.  It does appear that some cases that were rejected have, and may continue to be, reversed this week!  PRAISE GOD!!!!  More kiddos are COMING HOME SOON!!!!

The Somers' are still waiting with baited breath that maybe MOWCYA will see the updated HS that was already in the dossier but somehow missed, and The Russell family is still waiting to hear the reason behind their rejection letter.  So there is still a chance for these two families as well!

This is AMAZING movement for all of these children!  Go, God!

Of course, I cannot help but get on my knees in continued prayer for a miracle for our son as well.  I hesitate to allow hope to well up in my heart, because I know that every adoption case is different, and our agency told us that it would not be possible to obtain the information MOWCYA needs from our orphanage in time.  It should be easy to get the information, but just not easy to get it before closures.

However.......OUR GOD IS A BIG-HUGE GOD!  I do not want to be limited by what AWAA says. They are so good at being honest and preparing us for what may come, but I just feel the need to listen to their advice, but CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR A MIRACLE simultaneiously!

I hesitated to post anything that might lead you to think we have a chance.  According to AWAA we do not.  I hear that.  I respect that.  I appreciate the honesty.

Yet.......I feel compelled to PRAY for God to part the Red Sea for us!!!  Until that judge officially ceases to enter that court office, I cannot sit idly by without BELIEVING for our miracle!  

Is my heart guarded?  Sure.  Am I a bit afraid of God's final plan for this chapter of our adoption?  Yes, a bit.  (but I KNOW His plan for us is for GOOD and not harm; for HOPE and a future!)  Do I trust our agency to do all that they can on our behalf?  You bet!  

Do I believe my God wants to bless our family abundantly?  A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E-L-Y!!!!

Now, how such abundant blessings will be bestowed upon us is up to God.  More than anything, we want to be in His Divine will for us, for Baby K and for our family.  Yes, even if that means we have to wait longer to bring home our precious son (remind me of this in a few days).

It's just that.......until there is no way, I choose to believe that GOD CAN MAKE A WAY!!!!

My precious friend, Tracy Autry shared a great verse with me on Friday.  I have clung to it and will continue to ~ regardless of the result of these extended open court days......

"...For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn't believe even if someone told you about it."   Habukuk 1:5,  NLT 

Whether there is still a chance for "our own day" to be this week......or a day in months to come......the TRUTH is.....God IS working to bring us together as a family.  I continue to trust in that.  Regardless of what I can see.  

In Christ lies my true hope.  And strength.

Dear Lord, we once again come to you, asking you to MOVE mountains for our little baby K.  Whether this weeks GREAT NEWS includes news of our son's homecoming or not, I THANK YOU for all you are doing on behalf of so many of these children!  You are moving this MOWCYA mountain for so many families, and it is priceless to witness.  My heart aches to be a part of these miracles, Lord.  How I yearn to hear "HE IS YOURS!"  However, I cannot deny all the GOOD you are doing, loving these sweet precious children HOME.  However things go the rest of this week, we know that we know that you love our son.  And your ways are higher than our ways.           AMEN.

WE DID NOT PASS COURT.

NO GO.


We did not pass. MOWCYA needs more info from our orphanage.  We are caught in the closures! 


Baby K will be in the orphanage another ~4 (hopefully not more!) months. 


Praying he is home by Christmas. Can't believe it. So sad. Devastated. 


Flipping between feelings of being forgotten, and trying to cling to our Heavenly Father.  I feel a bit zombie-like.  Almost numb.  So many feelings, yet void of feelings.  Like, if I really sit still and allow all these emotions to settle, I will lose it.


Trying to let this new reality really sink in.  Trying to accept it all.  Trying to be okay with not understanding any of it.  Trying to just trust that God still has this family covered.  It feels like such an effort right now.


However........each time a thought of feeling forgotten creeps into my mind, I block it out.......with the REAL PRESENCE of our Heavenly Father in my life.........through people like you ~ our "adoptive family!" ~ other friends and family too.


I was moved to tears this morning, as I pondered the many FB messages, texts, comments on the blog, emails, calls, etc, that I had been receiving.  Throughout this whole journey, and especially this week and these past few days as we approach the court closures.


Our baby and this adoption is so COVERED in prayer and God's love!  Through each of YOU!!!


With only receiving this bad news a few hours ago, I have already been showered with LOVE, ENCOURAGEMENT, EMPATHY, COMPASSION, and PRAYERS!!!!!  


THANK YOU to each and every one of you who have reached out to me ~ at any time throughout this adoption ~ and especially today!  (I am sorry I posted on FB faster than here)


I. cannot. deny. God's love. for. me. when I reflect pon the friends and family who are lifting me up as we receive this sad news.  I cannot imagine how many people are covering our son, and us, in prayers!  It truly floors me!  I love to see how God gathers us together to stand strong in Him!


Yesterday, when I probably should have been talking to my patient, I was praying instead.  I was asking ~ begging ~ God to surround our son with His peace, love and joy.  I pictured Jesus standing at the foot of Baby K's bed, arms outstretched over our sweet son, casting His protection around our child.  His child.  Protecting "K" from any and all arrows of the enemy.  I asked God to stand firm in this battle and to keep Baby K from feeling any of the angst of this storm.


It was shortly after this prayer that I received a precious note from Shanna Rowell, a fellow adoptive AWAA momma friend, letting me know that she had just loved on and prayed over Baby K!!!!  A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!!!  God had answered my prayers before I even prayed them!

I want to extend a special THANK YOU to my dear, sweet friends, Caycee, Allison and Elicia ~ and their children!!!  

It is with these three precious, God-loving, adoptive momma friends that I received our phone call today.  We were having coffee together ~ keeping our sweet Caycee company as she heals from surgery, keeping me calm as I awaited our final call, and praying for God to still move BIG on Baby K's behalf.

Here are some photos of the joy that surrounded me this morning and afternoon (sorry some of them are blurry).

How could my heart NOT be light in the waiting this morning!?!?  At least some of the time! {smile}

I thank you, Allison, Caycee, and Elicia, for being with me in the waiting today!  


It was with these friends that I could cry with today, and share my fears, doubts, questions and sorrow upon receiving the sad news.  It was these amazing Christian friends who first upgirded me once we knew Baby K was caught in the closures.  They let me feel.  They let me cry.  They held me and hugged me.  They lifted me and my family in prayer.

They may not realize this, but they really did hold me up emotionally and spiritually.  They kept me from falling into a heap on the floor, sobbing and focusing on my negative feelings.  Eventually, they even got me laughing again.

Oh, and how precious is this?  I was starting to slow down in my crying, and Allison's daughter, Cassidy, called for me to come into the front room.  There, I walked into a room full of children, one of which was Elicia's daughter, playing a guitar.  The children all sang God's love into my heart.  

It was beautiful!  It moved me to tears again.  But this time, in a beautiful way.  The love of these sweet children melted. my. heart.  They wanted to soothe my soul.  And they did.  They wanted to shower me with God's love.  And they did.  Knowingly or not, these precious kiddos reminded me to worship our Heavenly Father.  Even now.  

And I did.