THANKSGIVING EVE.....

Many of you have asked me how it was the night before passing court.  Words are hard to find that describe those exciting and nerve-wrecking emotions storming throughout my mind and body that night!  I could not get myself to go to bed until 2:30am.  I fell asleep praying and awakened every 45-60 minutes.  I swear!  And each time I awoke, I felt as though I was still praying!  I would continue with my prayers until I fell asleep again.  Only to repeat this all. night. long.  Or at least the 5 hours I spent in bed that night!  {smile}  I felt as though I prayed all night long.

And it brought me peace.  Amongst my cautious excitement.  And amidst the fear stirring within me.  The fear of hearing another "no."  Oh, the struggle of BELIEVING and not letting myself get too excited, to protect my momma heart.

I guess the best way to explain my experience is to share with you a letter I wrote on Thansgiving Eve.  To my son and to my Heavenly Father.

Wow.  It is THANKSGIVING EVE 2011.  Yes, the night before we awaken to the news.  Praying the news is that YOU, our little man, are OUR SON!!!  FOREVER!!!  Oh, my, has this road to bringing you home been a long one.  I still can’t believe it has been four months today since we held you in our arms!  Our second Court Date is November 24^th, which is starting in a matter of minutes in Ethiopia.

I can’t get myself to lie down and go to bed.  I can’t quiet my mind or calm my thoughts. I just jump from one activity to another.  Physically, and/or in my mind.  Either way, it keeps my mind going.  Fast.  In my effort to have distractions ease of the waiting.

Will you ask me to wait longer, Lord?????????????

I can’t seem to concentrate on any one thing tonight.  I stop to pray and sometimes I feel I have no words left to pray.  Other times I pray so fervently I feel my prayers alone are storming the heavens!  {That’s a good thing, dear son!  That’s a good thing!}  J 

We all are storming the Heavens with our prayers!

There are SO MANY people praying for you tonight!  Praying for that Mowcya letter to be in our file, for favor from the judge on our family case, for sweet glorious news in the morning!!!  Seriously, you would babble loudly if you knew just how MANY people are praying on our behalf, dear son!!!! 

Adoption is a spiritual battle.  What God designs so beautifully, satan tries to destroy.  The GOOD NEWS is that whenever the enemy battles Our Heavenly Father, he never wins!  GOD wins!!! Every. Single. Time!!!!  THANK YOU, LORD!!!!  For battling on our behalf!  For loving Kaleab so much that you have brought him  to his family.  For loving Jeff and me so much that you brought US to Kaleab!  THANK YOU, Lord, that there is POWER in our prayers!

Please, God.  PLEASE!  Let the morning greet us with song.  Oh, how I desire to hear a beautiful song ~  song that celebrates the union of our son with us, and us with him.  FOREVER!!!  We know this to be your will, Lord, and we ask you to finish this waiting.  There is still so much more ahead with embassy.  So. Much. more.  Please let us step off of this stage of Court and move FORWARD toward embassy and bringing our sweet Kaleab HOME!!!!

If the APPROVAL letter is completed, won’t you please place it in our family file and place our file on the top of the day’s pile?  If the letter is not yet written, won’t you please place our family heavy onto a mowcya staff member’s heart…..so much so…..that s/he cannot do anything until s/he writes our APPROVAL letter AND gets it to the judge before the days’ end!  And Lord, won’t you PLEASE expedite the sharing of this information to in-country staff, and then to Kristen and then to US in a swift and efficient manner!?!?!?!?

My arms ache to hold our son again.  I walk with such a void, as my heart is in Ethiopia.  Loving on BOTH of our sons.  Please help to fill part of that void with finalizing “Baby K’s” adoption.  This very night.

I CAN give this over to You.  I NEED to give this over to You.  YOU are the one to make this all happen.  YOU are the one who put this ball in motion.  You always finish what you started……and we cannot WAIT for You to finalize this step for us!

Oh, how we would LOVE to spend Christmas with our boys!  Ethiopia ~ picking up Baby Kaleab and PASSING Court for "Big Brother!"  All in one trip!  YOU can do this, Lord!  You can do this!!!!  I pray this be your will for our family!!!  Starting with Passing Court over the next few hours!!!

You have gifted us these precious boys.  And I TRUST you to bring them HOME to us!

I BELIEVE, Lord!  I BELIEVE!!!!

In Your Name I Pray……..

So eternally grateful for our Thanksgiving gift of a divine "YES!"  Thank You, Lord, for gifting us our son ~ KALEAB WILLIAM JEFFREY MARQUEZ!!!   On Thanksgiving Day, you made Kaleab more than our son in our heart and soul......you made him legally and officially OUR SON!!! 

Still pinching myself to see if THIS is REALLY my life!!!!

Life. Is. GOOD!