Sunday, May 8, 2011

Thought You'd Be Here...

First I want to start out by celebrating the Mother's in my life!  HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, Mom, Doreen (step-mom) and Jenni (mother-in-law)!!!  We are SO BLESSED to have each one of you in our lives!  We wish we lived closer to share this day with you, but know that we love you, cherish you and are with you in heart!  We thank you for the love and beauty you bring to our families!

I will be honest.  My heart began to sink with each day that drew us closer to Mother's Day this year.  A flicker of hope was kept alive that "maybe!" we would know who you were by Mother's Day, hinting to God what "PERFECT" timing it would be to get to "meet" you for this day of celebration.  

The opportunity for this came and went.  And we still wait for the gift of you.

However, the sorrow and emptiness I was feeling at the start of this weekend has been replaced with a JOY and a PROMISE.....of YOU!  I have been lifted up by so many other precious momma friends, reminding me that this incredible amount of LOVE that I carry in my heart for you already makes me a Momma!  YOUR Momma!

I've yet to look into your beautiful eyes.  I've yet to learn your name.  I do not know when you were born or how old you are.  But still, I love you!  I don't yet know your scent.  Nor can I recognize your precious smile.  I've yet to love your little body with gentle massage.  Nor have I felt your skin next to mine.  But still, I love you!  I have not carried you in my arms.  Nor have I kissed your sweet lips.  Yet.  I have not yet heard your heart beat next to mine.  Nor have I laid beside you, hearing and feeling you breathe.  But still, I love you.  I haven't been able to hear your giggle.  Or been given the chance to make you laugh. 
But still, I love you.

You see, my little one(s), it takes far more than giving birth to be a mommy.  I carry you within my heart.  Within my soul.  I feel I already know you.  God has connected me to you.  In a way that most (including me) struggle to understand.  Although I haven't yet done all of those aforementioned treasures with you, my love for you grows with every beat of my heart. 

God birthed you in my heart (yes, Daddy's too!), and He is connecting us in His Divine way.  I pray you feel my love.  I pray you feel your Daddy's love.  I pray you feel your Heavenly Father's love most of all, little one(s).

So, even in the physical absence of you, I feel you.  I carry you.  I breathe you.  I love you.

I wait for you.  WE wait for you.

YOU are my precious Mother's Day gift!  This love I carry for you overflows from the depths of my heart, spilling into the new priorities in my life.  Priorities that have true meaning.  And purpose.  Passion that God has placed in my heart, after birthing YOU there.

I will continue to love you more with each day.  I will continue to ask God to lovingly hold you in His arms of Protection, Provision and Love.  I will continue to wait with excited expectancy.  For you.  I will not give into the sadness of not yet having you here.

Instead, I CELEBRATE YOU!!!!!!  I praise God for bringing us on this journey to YOU!!!!  I am grateful for being SO CLOSE to "meeting" you!

I will continue to love you, my son.  
My children.  
My present(s) from above.

THANK YOU, LORD, for your most precious gift of children.  THANK YOU that you are entrusting to us your babe(s).  A Most precious Mother's Day Gift, afterall!!!!!!!!! {deep sigh of joy}

Our ever-precious friends, Kate and Kyle, gifted us a CD filled with heartfelt songs that helped them as they waited for their son, Brooks.  The first song on the CD moved us to tears.  It talks of waiting for YOU!  This singer sooo "gets" the waiting for a child.

And so, I post this music video.  For my readers, yes.  In hopes that it blesses them in their own waiting room.  But mostly, I post it for you.  May you somehow hear these words.  And know that they come from the depths of your Mommy and Daddy's heart and soul.

We really did think you would be here by now.  Nonetheless, we stand strong in the waiting.  KNOWING that YOU, our gift(s) from God, are worth every moment spent in our waiting room.  KNOWING that God is orchestrating every detail to bring you home.  To us.  Your mommy and daddy.


(scroll to bottom of blog; pause music player; return to video and click play button)


Dustin & Megan said...

Happy Mother's Day! I know how hard this day is when you are still waiting. Last Mother's day was much harder than I had ever anticipated. This Mother's Day was still REALLY hard. Keep hanging on to your Father's hand.

Darcee said...

OH DEBB - You are AMAZING! ---> brought me to tears!! I love your BIG HUGE heart and I LOVE this post!!! PRAYING for you daily Momma!! ♥

Alison said...

So precious!! You are going to be the BEST Mom! Can't wait until you get to see your little one's sweet face!!!

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