Friday, October 8, 2010

EXPECTATION vs EXPECTANCY....Know the Difference?!?

There we were.....going through another miscarriage. I began wondering if it was wrong for me to continue to pray to God for a baby. Afterall, if parenthood wasn't in God's plan for us, we didn't want to be outside of His divine will for our lives.

But WHAT would I do with the gaping HOLE in my heart aching to be filled by a baby!?!? My empty arms and aching heart were sobbing ~ at moments even SCREAMING ~ for God to talk to me!

Didn't HE put this strong desire to be a mommy in my heart!?? WHY wasn't He answering my heart's cry?!? Was I being disobedient for continuing to seek Him for a child, if His answer was consistently "NO"....???????........

Jeff believed we should stay on our knees and seek the Lord. I began to wonder if it was even worth asking for, if God had no intention of bringing us children.

I wondered if I was being selfish in my continued prayers for what God didn't seem to want to bless me/us with. God assured me one night, through Jeff, that YES! He wanted me/us to continue to seek Him and pray for the desires of our hearts! He wanted us to continue to pray for our children....and wait for Him!
Psalms 27:14, "Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."

After reading an article one night, Jeff paraphrased for me the difference between EXPECTANCY and EXPECTATION. He doesn't recall now where he read it, darn it! I wish I could credit who helped answer such a mystery for me! Allow me to share with you how learning such a difference FREED me to keep praying amidst our unanswered prayers!

You see...........

God WANTS us to lay the desires of our heart at His feet. He wants us to pursue these desires with confidence in Him. Not confidence in OUR ability to reach these dreams, but confidence in His ABILITY and WILLINGNESS to answer our prayers! He yearns to bless us abundantly! His plan for us is GOOD! ALWAYS!

"And what you ask for in prayer,
having faith and believing, you will receive"
Matthew 21:22 {emphasis mine}

He definitely does want us to pray with expectancy ~ belief that He WILL answer our prayers!

Here's the catch: He wants us to have child-like faith that He will answer ~but He doesn't want us to tell Him HOW or WHEN to answer our prayers! He doesn't want us to pray with EXPECTATIONS of the details!

He wants us to pray with excited anticipation and assurance that He WILL answer our heart's cry. He just doesn't want us to go about telling Him how to do it! {ouch!}

Knowing that His plan is good (Jeremiah 29:11), we are to seek Him like a child awakening on Christmas morn, excited beyond all excitement of what awaits us! Such expectancy builds in us hope which stems from belief. Belief in GOD's faithfulness ~ more than the details of our dreams!

Our dreams will be fulfilled PERFECTLY, in His timing, in His will! No worries.......if His answer differs from our original dream, He will gently transform our heart to match His blessed plan for our lives.

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.' " Isaiah 30:21

Living with expectancy but without expectation frees us......from disappointment, worry, and doubt.

Living with expectancy but without expectation frees us to have believe........and, with each answered frees us to build more and more trust in our Lord.

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace
in believing, so that you will abound in hope
by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

THANK YOU, Lord, for helping me find your truth in that difficult time. THANK YOU for helping me find my hope in YOU again! I do BELIEVE! I trust you, Lord, with the creation of our family!

THANK YOU for introducing to us, this amazing blessing called adoption!

We are coming, my little one(s)! We are coming. And God is holding you while we wait!


April D said...

This is fantastic, Debb! I'm forwarding to a friend caught in the devastation of infertility right now. This is even helpful for me - an adoptive mommy who's had infertility. Thanks for the post!

Tanya said...

I love the encouragement of this post that applies to anyone waiting on God to accomplish something in their lives. I definitely relate right now. I'm going to write that scripture from Isaiah down right NOW and display it so I can see it when I need a little pick-me-up.

Mama Mimi said...

Wow. Can I just tell you what a BLESSING you are in my life!?! God is using your honesty and your transparency to speak straight to my heart. I didn't suffer from infertility (although I did have a m/c before conceiving my son) but I have SUCH a desire to want to control all the details of this adoption. I just need to LET IT GO! No matter what I do, it's going to happen in God's timing anyway...and by letting it go I would releave so much PRESSURE and remove so much STRESS from my life. Thank you for the reminder of how much God LOVES me and really DESIRES to fulfill my dreams. Understanding that is such an important step in letting go of the reigns. Love your heart woman! =D

Alison said...

Debb, this post is amazing! Thanks for sharing your precious heart! I am wearing your adoption t-shirt today! And I LOVE it! Just posted some pics on my blog! :) Got it this week...thanks so much!

Unknown said...

As a mother who has experienced miscarriages as well as healthy births and an adoption, I really appreciate your post.

I'd love if you wanted to edit it to fit a post on I think it would be a real encouragement there. Let me know what you think.

Kristi J said...

so well written..beautiful post, kristi

Debb said...

YES! Isn't God amazing!?! I LOVE how He takes our trials and uses them to speak His TRUTH to us! He DOES yearn to bless us! He DOES want to fill the desires of our hearts! He DOES want us to pray expectantly.....He just doesn't want us to be closed to answers outside of our human understanding! SO GLAD this post has spoken to each one of you, in your own little way. I was a bit nervous to post such a tender topic, so your kind thoughts are precious to me! Have a blessed week!

Karen said...

Thank you for sharing this Debb. BEAUTIFUL! ~Karen Wistrom

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