Sunday, May 23, 2010


OK, so our church (Vineyard Christian Fellowship of Boise) has been totally blessed by this man, Robby Dawkins! Robby came to speak to us Thursday through Sunday this last week, and has God ever moved through this man! He shared with us great stories of his numerous experiences in which he witnessed God touching others' lives in a miraculous way. Amongst a plethura of humorous and heart-warming stories, Robby used an analogy that stuck with me (even moved me to tears, in fact). It was that of the electric door. It went something like this (please excuse the paraphrasing ~ my version won't be nearly as humorous or entertaining)....

We all know how an electric door opens ONCE WE STEP TOWARD THE DOOR, right?!? No matter how long we stand in front of an electric door from a distance, and command the door to open, it will not. These doors will only open once we take those steps that bring us closer to the door and trigger it to open. Upon our proximity, the door eloquently opens for us to then walk through. There is that rare occasion when the doors may malfunction and not open ~ even though we have stepped closer to it ~ and we "leave our lip print on the glass." {smile} However, these occurrences are rare, and do not hinder us from believing in the future that electric doors will automatically open when we step toward it.

How did this analogy speak to me, you ask? Well, God has been revealing to me an area in my soul that seems to be carrying an element of doubt ~ or maybe even a tad bit of unbelief. It's not that I do not believe in my Heaveanly Father. I do. Immensely. However, since our last miscarriage in August, I have found myself almost afraid, at times, to pray. You see, I prayed and prayed and PRAYED for our little baby that I was carrying, and my prayer was not enough. We still lost our precious child. I've recently been made aware that, since then, there have been times when I have questioned if I should even pray about something, "because God already knows what He is going to do in this situation." I've also incurred feelings that my prayer is "not enough" or lacking in power.

Therein lies my doubt and/or unbelief. Don't get me wrong, I have prayed about our precious son in Ethiopia since before we even started the adoption process! I even pray for his birthmother. I just feel that sometimes I lack that deep, intense child-like faith when I pray.

Here's where the electric door comes in. If I can assume that taking a step toward an electric door will almost always result in an open door (even after a malfunction when it does not), then how much more confidently can I step toward my loving Father in prayer, trusting that He will open himself to me and shower me with His divine love ~ and yes, even answer my prayer?

It's all about "NOT QUITTING!"

No, God did not answer my prayer about saving our little baby in my tummy (again). I could choose to quit believing in the power of prayer, ignore all the many previous prayers He HAS answered for me, and lose my trust in Him; OR I can trust that His "unanswered" prayers are blessings for reasons beyond my own understanding, continue to believe that God is GOOD, and trust that if I continue to lean (step) into Him, He will open His arms lavishingly to me!

I choose to continue to trust electric doors after the occasional malfunction. Therefore, I certainly choose to continue to lean into God and trust Him with the desires of my heart....and my prayers. I choose to step forward in prayer and BELIEVE He will be there.

I choose to NOT QUIT my God!

Lord, I thank you for showing me my areas of unbelief. I thank you for forgiving this doubt. Moreover, I cannot thank you enough for emptying me of this unbelief and doubt, and replacing it with more of you!

Heavenly Father, fill me with that child-like faith again. Continue to teach me to trust you with another one of our children. May you watch over him daily and continue to orchestrate the miraculous union of him with Jeff and me. Oh, how I look forward to that day and all the days thereafter! :o)


beBOLDjen said...

Oh my goodness. I came over to thank you for your note at my blog and can't believe the timing of this post. You see, I was just up late working on a devotional I'm about to post on Monday. In that post (which I've just been workign on) I went back to that place in time when we had just expereinced two miscarriages. Then I came over here and read your post.

I love what you're written! ALL of it spoke to me. I, too really appreciate the electric door analogy!

And please, come by my blog on Monday and continue the discussion there.

Karen said...

Thanks for the inspiration today, Deb! I'm enjoying following YOUR journey to your baby! We may soon be on that journey once again ourselves! :) with love, Karen Wistrom

Debb said...

THX for the comments, Jen and Karen! Sometimes I look back at what I write and wonder if it gets too long. or too personal. or too something. Glad that the post spoke to you. And thank you both for being so inspirational to me! I love both of your blogs! :)

Tanya said...

That post was so eye-opening. I love that analogy, it's so clear and makes so much sense. Your prayer in the end was beautiful and heartfelt. We don't always understand God's ways, but that's why He's God and we're not.

Brad and Tara said...

Isn't it awesome to see prayers answered that we thought were "unanswered"?? We don't always know how, why, when, etc, but we need to always remember they ARE answered. Keep stepping towards that door!!

Praying your I71H comes soon too!!

Debb said...

Tanya.......doesn't this analogy work well?!? You are right. We are not God and we do not always have to understand His ways......we just need to keep trusting in His goodness.......

Brad and Tara.......YES!!! "Unanswered" prayers can be the sweetest of answers, in the end! Amazing what He can do with a broken heart! Awesome how He can open our eyes to new things! :o)

THANKS for the comments and prayers! They are going both ways!

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