Friday, December 17, 2010

Where Do You Look In the Storm?

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth! (though I wish we had fallen off this continent and landed on Ethiopia, specifically!) {grin}

I must admit that the stillness and silence of no referrals has been really starting to get me down. I am trying to stand in the peace and faith that Jeff can stand in, as he knows that he knows we are going to get THE very child or children that God has planned for all along. In this, he can wait with faith and strength. I usually can, as I believe this to be true as well.

However, as of late, I struggle intermittently. I wonder if this waiting will "make us miss out on our child or children." Silly. I know. I know NOTHING can hinder God and His divine plan! The excited mommy in me just starts to take over and want to control the how and when of this journey......I really don't want to control things, but my thoughts and actions sure act as though I do!

THANK GOODNESS God understands when we are weak! THANK GOODNESS that in our weakness, He makes us strong! IF......we lean on Him. IF we look to Him.

It is only when I take my eyes off of Jesus that I start to struggle with the waiting. It is then that I start to question God's timing. And my faith begins to quiver. Huh. Sound anything like Matthew 14: 22-33, when Peter steps out of the boat and tries to walk on water toward Jesus, only to find himself sinking when he looked around at the storm?!?!? Can't say I made that association until writing this right now. (no wonder I've been "detained" with fun busyness of the Christmas Season......."someone" didnt' want me to obtain this perspective!)

God is reminding me, right now, as I write, that He doesn' t want us to look around at the world. Life's storms can seem to swallow us or wash away our dreams. God wants us to keep our eyes on Him. He is in charge of bringing us to our children. No earthly "storm" can prevent that from happening! God calls us to faith even when the task may seem impossible, so that He can be glorified in the end.

We KNOW that God is behind this adoption! We know that God birthed our children in our hearts! How they are delivered to us (via delivery in a hospital or delivery in Africa!) matters not to us, and God has known the plan for this union from the very beginning!

Aaaahhhhh.......THERE it is! That mommy excitement and JOY that was slowly slipping away! It is coming back to me! This very minute, as I write and remind myself of where my focus needs to be!

Okay, God wants me to keep my eyes on Him. Even in the silence. I will continue looking up, indeed. Thank you, God!


erica said...

Beautiful. And I know how you feel. I always get a little cranky when we go through a dry spell with no referrals. I'm thankful that I have my husband, who keeps reminding me that God knows best and His timing is perfect! I know that God sees the whole picture, and I just focus on myself too much. Thank you for this post - just what I needed today. And I'm going to try harder not to focus on the storms. :) Hope you get some good news soon!

Lara said...

It has been discouraging to see such little movement lately. Having two preschoolers keeps me too busy to dwell on it much, otherwise I would be going nuts.

Anonymous said...

I am bookmarking this post! I know I'll need this reminder in the days to come - even today! I am encouraged every time I visit you here! :)


jkseevers said...

Praying with you, Debb, that you will get your referral VERY soon. I'm really trusting that it will be before Christmas. What a wonderful Christmas gift that would be for you and Jeff. I know that The Lord is pleased with you for your outlook, even in the difficult moments I can just imagine Him holding you and saying, "just hang in there, Debb. I've got GREAT things in store for you. Be patient. Trust me." It gives me goosebumps!!
Sending big cyber hugs your way!!

Abby said...

It is so hard to wait. We waited 7 months for our proposal and then 7 months to get just into IBESR!!!! Was so frustrating but always when I was at my wits end God showed me a specific sign that He was in control and had ordained Alex to be our son!!! And after spending three Christmas without him.....he is home for Christmas this year! Praying fornyou guys!!!

Alison said...

Yep, keep your eyes on Him!! He has a beautiful plan with perfect timing...can't wait to see how it all unfolds for ya'll!

Tiffygator said...

I don't know why the wait seems easier on the husbands than the mamas. Our darn mama hearts are just too big!

I was actually thinking about this same story the other day and reminding myself that Jesus simply told the disciples to go to the other side. He didn't promise it was going to be smooth sailing. But when it got rough he came to them and they did make it to the other side.

Beautiful post!

*Overflowing* said...

Sweet are waiting well!! You are making our God so proud! The wait is so hard but I PROMISE the pain of it will fade quickly and you will be holding your baby/ies before you know it! Praying for you precious one!

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