Strong Enough

This emotional rollercoaster provides me no fun.  Because I do not get to choose when I get off of this ride. I am trying, trying, TRYING to keep my eyes on God.  Thank you for helping me do that with your love and encouragement.

When we saw Matthew West earlier this year, this song moved me to tears.  Pretty big tears.  Little did I know how much I would be clinging to it now, to help me endure this extended wait to bring our babe home.

Feeling weak and faint, I claim this verse:

Isaiah 40:31 - but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

And this video:  (stop music player at bottom of blog and return here to click play)  

Soak in the words.  The TRUTH.

I know that I am........

Lord, I have no strength left.  I am empty.  I cannot do this in my own power.  But, thankfully, you are here.  Walking alongside me holding my hand, guiding my steps.  Carrying me when I feel too tired.  Uplifting me when I feel defeated.  Reminding me how much you love me, Jeff and our sweet Baby "K."

Stronger are YOU, Lord, who is in me, than he that is in the world...............and for this, Lord, I THANK YOU!

THINGS LOOK GRIM

Things do not look good.  They are looking quite bleak, actually.

I just spoke with our caseworker and she informed me that MOWCYA still has not even communicated to AWAA what it is that they feel our file is missing!  WHAT!?!?!?!?

I asked Caitlin if one day is even enough to provide them whatever it is they need (IF they even communicate it tomorrow.....they might not!), and she said one day is not likely enough time.

Oh.  My.  Heavens.

So, basically, we are suppose to prepare for our sweet boy to live in an orphanage for another 4-6 MONTHS!!!  She didn't quote that, but I am thinking if courts don't open until mid Oct, and there are number of families who are waiting to pass court, then we will all be back logged waiting for Embassy.....

Nightmare.

This brings me back to a time when I was pregnant and bleeding.  On bed rest.  I refused to believe I was miscarrying.  I refused to believe we were losing our child.  Eeven when we went to the ER because I was now hemorrhaging and in quite a lot of pain.  It wasn't until they confirmed that we had "fore sure" lost the baby that I would believe it.

I hear the words around me today.  I see the ugly odds.  And yet............

I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS IS OVER UNTIL IT IS OVER!!!!!

UNTIL THOSE COURTS CLOSE!!!

Until there is NO CHANCE in a miracle, I will continue to BELIEVE for a miracle!!!  Our God can do ANYTHING!!!  He can remove ANY mountain!!!  He can change hearts.  Open eyes.  Create opportunities.  Expedite paper processes.


GOD. CAN. PERFORM. MIRACLES!!!!

And until we run out of time, I REFUSE to stop believing for a miracle!  As my sweet friend, Missy, pointed out, BELIEVE stands for......

Because Emanual Lives I Expect Miracles Everytime!!!!

Praying, Lord, that your will is to provide us with a smash-hit miracle tomorrow.  One that will knock our socks off!  One that will be undeniably Y-O-U!!!!!  Please, God, surround our son with your presence.  Fight off any attempts from the enemy at our sweet baby boy.  Outstretch your arms and surround him with your goodness.  Your Peace.  Your Joy.  Your love.  May He know nothing of this battle, and only feel love and goodness.  I THANK YOU that you brought Shanna to him ~ today of all days ~ to shower him with love and prayer.  None of this is a surprise to you, Lord.  Forgive me for being dumbfounded.  I never dreamed this possible.  Upgird our family as we watch your plan unfold.  Sometimes your will is not for us to understand.  If this is one of those times, Lord, Please.  PLEASE!  Give us your grace to endure.  Your will be done here.  Still BELIEVING that your will is to bring our paperwork under the stamp of "APPROVAL" before these court closures.  I will believe until the clock runs out.  And then.......................

I will run to You with Praise.  Either way.  I will still choose You.  I will just need your help to accept things if your plan differs from mine.  But I will still chose YOU.

STILL BELIEVING FOR A MIRACLE!!!!