THE ELECTRIC DOOR...

OK, so our church (Vineyard Christian Fellowship of Boise) has been totally blessed by this man, Robby Dawkins! Robby came to speak to us Thursday through Sunday this last week, and has God ever moved through this man! He shared with us great stories of his numerous experiences in which he witnessed God touching others' lives in a miraculous way. Amongst a plethura of humorous and heart-warming stories, Robby used an analogy that stuck with me (even moved me to tears, in fact). It was that of the electric door. It went something like this (please excuse the paraphrasing ~ my version won't be nearly as humorous or entertaining)....

We all know how an electric door opens ONCE WE STEP TOWARD THE DOOR, right?!? No matter how long we stand in front of an electric door from a distance, and command the door to open, it will not. These doors will only open once we take those steps that bring us closer to the door and trigger it to open. Upon our proximity, the door eloquently opens for us to then walk through. There is that rare occasion when the doors may malfunction and not open ~ even though we have stepped closer to it ~ and we "leave our lip print on the glass." {smile} However, these occurrences are rare, and do not hinder us from believing in the future that electric doors will automatically open when we step toward it.

How did this analogy speak to me, you ask? Well, God has been revealing to me an area in my soul that seems to be carrying an element of doubt ~ or maybe even a tad bit of unbelief. It's not that I do not believe in my Heaveanly Father. I do. Immensely. However, since our last miscarriage in August, I have found myself almost afraid, at times, to pray. You see, I prayed and prayed and PRAYED for our little baby that I was carrying, and my prayer was not enough. We still lost our precious child. I've recently been made aware that, since then, there have been times when I have questioned if I should even pray about something, "because God already knows what He is going to do in this situation." I've also incurred feelings that my prayer is "not enough" or lacking in power.

Therein lies my doubt and/or unbelief. Don't get me wrong, I have prayed about our precious son in Ethiopia since before we even started the adoption process! I even pray for his birthmother. I just feel that sometimes I lack that deep, intense child-like faith when I pray.

Here's where the electric door comes in. If I can assume that taking a step toward an electric door will almost always result in an open door (even after a malfunction when it does not), then how much more confidently can I step toward my loving Father in prayer, trusting that He will open himself to me and shower me with His divine love ~ and yes, even answer my prayer?

It's all about "NOT QUITTING!"

No, God did not answer my prayer about saving our little baby in my tummy (again). I could choose to quit believing in the power of prayer, ignore all the many previous prayers He HAS answered for me, and lose my trust in Him; OR I can trust that His "unanswered" prayers are blessings for reasons beyond my own understanding, continue to believe that God is GOOD, and trust that if I continue to lean (step) into Him, He will open His arms lavishingly to me!

I choose to continue to trust electric doors after the occasional malfunction. Therefore, I certainly choose to continue to lean into God and trust Him with the desires of my heart....and my prayers. I choose to step forward in prayer and BELIEVE He will be there.

I choose to NOT QUIT my God!

Lord, I thank you for showing me my areas of unbelief. I thank you for forgiving this doubt. Moreover, I cannot thank you enough for emptying me of this unbelief and doubt, and replacing it with more of you!

Heavenly Father, fill me with that child-like faith again. Continue to teach me to trust you with another one of our children. May you watch over him daily and continue to orchestrate the miraculous union of him with Jeff and me. Oh, how I look forward to that day and all the days thereafter! :o)

USCIS!

WOW! It took us a few WEEKS longer than we had planned, but we have officially mailed off our home study and I-600A form to the United States Citizen Immigration Services (USCIS) today! Hurry up and wait. Hurry up and wait. Well, we tried to hurry things along, though Colorado wasn't in too big of a hurry to provide us our one last form, but we received the form today! THANKS, Sattie, for overnighting it to us ~ we got it this morning! We hurried to the post office to mail our I-600A (along with our home study and other papers) this afternoon, and we now begin our wait on our US government.

USCIS will review our home study and our request for adoption. Once approved, they will send us a date to be fingerprinted and will send us that all-important I-171H form! Once that form is in our hands, we can THEN send ALL our paperwork (Dossier) to AWAA.....so that they can give their final approval and send our Dossier to Ethiopia! We are told to anticipate a 6-12 week wait for USCIS, though a fellow Idahoan adoptive mom told me it only took them about 4 weeks to receive it. PRAY for expediency, please! The sooner we get it, the sooner we can begin our 3 to 6 month wait for our son! :o)

Thank you for your prayers, support and encouragement! There have been a few weeks of waiting that I was not anticipating on this side of things, and you helped me through the frustration with a peace. We give all of this to God, and will try our best to just go on with life this next month without worry of time and with much excitement and joy!

MOTHER'S DAY.

THANK YOU to those of you who blessed me with your wishes for my "Happy First Mother's Day!" You touched my heart in a very precious way. More than you may ever know. You are right. WE ARE PAPER PREGNANT! And it is SO EXCITING! I asked God to protect our son, to nurture him and to keep him safe. And I asked that he bring our son home to us one day soon. I dreamed of what next Mother's Day will be like, hopefully being able to hold our son in my arms! It seems so surreal! I know our road to him still has many miles, but I enjoyed the day tremendously, thinking of how blessed I am to have both Jeff, and my soon-to-be son!

I also spent time today thanking God for my Mom, Doreen, and Jenni. Each one of them blesses my life with their presence in it. They will be such amazing Grandmas to our little one!

Oftentimes my prayers today reached beyond our son and our mothers. My thoughts and prayers frequently went to this ever precious woman whom I don't even know. Our son's birthmother. It is very likely that she is still carrying our precious boy, and I prayed that God would fill her to overflowing with His peace. I prayed that He would comfort her and assure her that both she and her child/ren are in His hands. That she would know and believe that He will provide for their needs. I asked for nutrition for both her and our child. For their safety and their comfort. I don't know the reasons that will lead her to give Jeff and me the most precious gift of all ~ our son ~ but my heart goes out to her. She will never know how ever grateful we are for her selflessness in choosing adoption.

Jeff and I believe that God has known from the beginning who our son is going to be, and how He would orchestrate our becoming a family. It still amazes me that He is going to create our son and bring him to us from half way across the world! We know our God is BIG and we look forward to seeing how this all unfolds! THANK YOU, GOD! May you use our waiting time to continue to show us beautiful ways we can love our son. And teach him how loved he is by you.

EARLY WAITING...

WOW!

I anticipated there would be a lot of waiting in this journey to our son, I just didn't expect the waiting would have to occur so early in the process! Ugh!

First, my timing was not quite the same timing of our caseworker, in that she wanted all four books read before we finalized our study. GREAT books, I just would have preferred reading them during the wait after all things were sent off to Ethiopia. Okay, so I re-adjusted my timeline and prayed for patience and got through that, and we have our final notarized Home Study report. YAY!

Now we have been waiting a week for one little piece of paper from Colorado. We need this before we can send off our home study to the USCIS. I phoned them this morning (ONE WEEK after my original request for this paper), and they tell me it hasn't been processed yet. Aargh! They "hope" to process it Monday. They won't, however, mail it overnight (for whatever reason). I'm hoping my mother-in-law, Jennie, will pick it up and mail it to us overnight, as she lives within a mile or two of the place. Go Sattie!

I was hoping to post today that we had sent everything off to USCIS and that our approximately 4 week wait (hopefully not longer) had begun. Maybe early part of next week.

The GREAT news is that there is all kinds of positive action in our AWAA yahoo group! People traveling to their children, court dates and referrals! SO EXCITING! It reminds me that God is in control and He is GOOD! A fellow AWAA yahoo group friend posted a saying that really helped her amidst a recent trying time of her adoption process, "Trust Him when I can't trace Him." (go to http://www.lifeabitsweeter.blogspot.com to read her story and how this spoke to her).

I chose to cling to these words now ~ and throughout other upcoming waiting periods ~ that I do not understand. May it all be a part of God orchestrating the exact timing for Jeff and me to be united with the very precious little man that He has planned for us from the beginning!

NATIONAL DAY OF PRAYER: The Power of Prayer

I read this on DaySpring Devotions today and wanted to share it with you. It is such a good reminder of the POWER in our prayers!

No ocean can hold it back.
No river can overtake it.
No whirlwind can go faster.
No army can defeat it.
No law can stop it.
No distance can slow it.
No disease can cripple it.
No force on earth is more powerful or effective than the power of prayer. - Linn Carlson, DaySpring writer

The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective.
James 5:16 NRSV

May 6 is the 59th Annual Observance of the National Day of Prayer. Join with millions of people around the world in prayer for America. We invite you to be part of interceding for our nation, leaders, communities and families. One prayer, one heart at a time, we can change our nation!

The LORD is Good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him... Nahum 1:7 NIV

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I am hoping that we join together ~ today and every day ~ in praying for our nation!

I am also reminded today in the power behind our prayers for the desires of our hearts. GOD WANTS TO BLESS US ABUNDANTLY! Are we really letting ourselves listen to those deep desires of our hearts? God placed them there. He WANTS us to acknowledge those deep desires. He WANTS to bless us with answers to those prayers.

However, it is up to each one of us to release His holy power to answer them. We release that power by praying. C'mon.......bind up the enemy by no longer walking in fear of your desires! Release God's divine power by recognizing your personal desires and by asking God to fulfill them! In His way. In His timing. We shouldn't just "sit back and watch God"........we need to seek Him and ASK Him to answer!

In the hustle and bustle of life,it is easy to just assume that God knows what we want. What we need. Well, He does know. But He wants us to come to Him with those wants and needs. May this national day of prayer remind us to pray for our nation, as well as for our own personal desires ~ according to His will. He is a big God and He cares about our nation as well as each one of us!

Have a BLESSED day!

Oh, and we musn't forget the sweet baby boy hooded bath towels and washcloths Grandma Faithie sent you for Easter! I giggle at the thought of you running down the hallway with one of these draped over you! (I just know you are gonna have the cutest buns in town! :o)

"Aunt" Connie gave us these in that adorable leopard gift bag!

Her "Congratulations on your paper pregnancy gift!"

Can't wait to be feeding you in these, my Lil' Tiger!

This little monkey is anxiously awaiting your arrival HOME

so the two of you can play!

He will look so great in your safari themed nursery too!

SO CUTE I had to show them up close!

Ok, so I broke down and got you these Safari items a few weeks ago

that I have been drooling over every time I go to BabiesRUs....

You will look so adorable in these!

My first book and outfits I purchased for you at BabieRUs a month or so ago.

SHOPPING SPREE!

My dear little son,

Mommy and "Aunt" Connie had a total BLAST shopping for you the other day! We spent 4 1/2 hours (at ONE location!) looking at little boy clothes and toys for you! Mommy had SO MUCH FUN!!! Excitement was in the air! As you will come to know, your mommy and "Aunt" Connie love to shop.....but shopping for YOU surpassed all shopping! (Don't worry, she bought little Miss Emily some sweet things as well).

Honey, it was so easy to picture you in these clothes! It was almost like I could reach out and touch you! Hug you! My arms are SO ready to hold you! Yes, there is still quite a wait to endure, but our shopping spree helped make our union more real to me! Even Daddy kept saying how he could envision you with ease when looking at our purchases! We have also been having fun dreaming up your nursery. We have it pretty well planned in our heads, but no purchases.....yet.

So much exciting news is happening with our agency lately! Many families are getting their referrals, passing court and getting travel dates.......it is all so exciting and inspiring! That will be US one of these days. We PROMISE! We're coming for you! God is likely creating you ~ helping you grow ~ as I type this post. May He keep you in the palm of His hand as you develop and prepare for the "outside" world, and every day thereafter.......

Daddy and I can't wait to meet you! Be safe. Be healthy. Be strong. Know you are already loved. Likely before you even entered into this world, we loved you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXO